Snow-plows and God's Great Love

Well, I'm back. The holidays were as busy for me as I am sure that they were for you. Add a nice little snowboarding vacation to the mix and it means that Jeremy has neglected his blog for a couple of weeks. Well, hopefully that all ends now!

I am always amazed by how much God loves Camille and I. This life was never going to be a 'bed of roses', but having Him in it sure makes things go a lot more smoothly! He is continually giving us things that we don't deserve. Here's an example. The best friend that I ever had during my days in the Army was Jason Moore. I got out of the Army two weeks before September 11th, 2001 (another example of God's undeserved grace in my life). In the seven-and-a-half years since that fateful day, Jason has spent most of his time in Iraq as a Blackhawk helicopter pilot, away from his beautiful family. A lot has happened in both of our lives since 2001, but we have managed to stay in touch and our friendship is still very strong. He will always be like a brother to me and his beautiful wife Christina and his three awesome boys will always be family.

Christina's best friend Jacy has an uncle who owns a beautiful house right on the slopes in Telluride, Colorado. If you don't know anything about Telluride, let me just tell you that it is one of the most beautiful places on earth. Its high altitude, vast terrain and sparse crowds make it one of the best places to snowboard and ski in North America. Its remote location and limited accessibility make it a playground for the rich and famous. We could never, in our wildest dreams, afford to stay in a house like Jacy's uncle's in Telluride. But remember God's undeserved grace? Well, Jacy's uncle knows how badly she and her husband Tony have been wanting to go on a snowboard vacation with Jason and Christina. He told her that when Jason came back from Iraq for the last time and had some time off, that they could have the house (which rents for $15,000 a week) for a week, free of charge! It's a huge house. When Jason and Christina found out that they had the place for a week in January, they called me to see if Camille and I would come stay with them! For Camille and I, that's pretty much the stuff dreams are made of! God's grace...

To make a long story short, it was the best snowboarding trip of our lives! Awesome slopes and great friends equal good times! You would think that God had outdone Himself for us on this one, but in the middle of all these blessings, He decided to say 'I love you' yet again. Many of those closest to me know that I have struggled with nightmares and anxious dreams of rejection for years. The rejection dreams started shortly after my first marriage ended because of alcohol abuse and unfaithfulness...possibly an over-share, but sometimes the truth, as they say, hurts. I personally believe that the enemy of my soul is angry that God helped me to find my true soul-mate in Camille and that I am indescribably happy now. He tries to haunt my unconscious life with dreams that Camille will hurt me the way my former wife did. A while back, this 'dream torture' sort of came to a head when I discussed my dreams with my brother (who also has a history of terrible nightmares) and he told me that the only way he had found to end his nightmares was to have his wife Jamie pray that he would have a peaceful sleep each night when they went to bed. Now, Camille prays the same thing for me every night and the bad dreams have stopped!

Well, in the middle of one of the best weeks of our lives, God decided to show us again how much He loves us and how perfectly 'right for each other' we are. I awoke one morning with a start. For some reason, the company that maintains the roads in Telluride and Mountain Village decided to get an early start with the snow-plow that morning. As the plow came down our driveway, I went from sound asleep to 'Why is someone running their fingers down the chalkboard?' - instantly! While the rude awakening was annoying, it was also a relief. Camille had prayed, as usual, before we fell asleep that my dreams would be peaceful. Yet for just a few seconds before I was so rudely awoken, I had been starting to have one of those 'anxiety dreams' again. I was a bit puzzled and disappointed that God had 'struck out' on that one. Still feeling the rush of negative emotions attached to a bad dream, I looked over at Camille, who had also been jarred from her sleep by the giant noisemaker. But unlike me, Camille was laughing! Still stinging from the feelings of rejection and disappointment brought on by the short dream, I wondered how a snow-plow could possibly be so funny, especially before the sun was even up!

Camille looked at me with a smile on her face and announced, "I just had the funniest dream! I dreamt that you cloned yourself...there were two of you running around!" She looked me right in the eye, gave me a big hug and said, "But the funny thing is...I liked it! I love being with you, and having two of you, I got to be with you all of the time...even when you were at work!"

Whoah. In one instant every negative emotion and insecurity I was feeling was washed away by the knowledge that my wife is the most wonderful and trustworthy person on the planet! And that she loves me as much as I love her! I knew right then that not only am I the most fortunate man alive, but that God was trying to tell me something. You can call our simultaneous dreams a coincidence if you want. You can say that the snow-plow stirring us from our sleep at exactly that instant was random, if that's how you feel. But I know better. I know the God whom I serve. I know that His love for us is deeper than we could ever imagine. I knew right then that Camille's prayer the night before had been heard. For reasons that will probably always be His own, God had chosen to go a step further in answering those prayers that night. He wanted to say 'I love you' with an exclamation mark. I think that He wanted to address my feelings of rejection right at the roots. To show me in a way that words never could just how unfounded those feelings, conscious or not, are when it comes to Camille. Once and for all, He showed me how wrong my enemy is when he tries to make me feel insecure.

My friends, this is how much our Creator loves us. He loves us enough to 'scheme' ways to show us His love even when we are sleeping! There is not one instant in our lives when His great love is not reaching out to us. I am as guilty as you are of forgetting much of the time that He is right there beside us, wanting to help us and be a part of our lives, no matter how mundane they may be. I can't even wrap my mind around that - the Creator of the entire Universe loves Jeremy so much that he orchestrates elaborate dreams for he and his wife just to drive home the point that they are perfectly safe in each other's love. He's so eager to love us that He couldn't even wait until the alarm clock went off!

Man, I love Him back.